Hibernation!

It was very cold yesterday and, if I was a wild bear and didn't have my nice, warm jumper and rice pudding with jam for tea, I would have been very tempted to hibernate. 

This is a special deep sleep that some wild bears can do when it gets too cold and they can't find food.  I have never hibernated because of the cold but I tried to once, when I ran out of bear food. 

The morning after my interesting journey along the Thames to Staines, Polar and Grizzly took our boat, Uplander II (or Uppie) through another big lock, at a place called Shepperton.  When we came out of the lock, I thought they would carry on along the Thames but instead, they turned right and started steering towards a smaller river coming out from the trees.

'Oh no!' I thought, watching from the front of the boat.  'Polar seems to have got lost!'  She didn't seem worried, however.  In fact, she and Grizzly seemed pleased they had found the small river.

A little while later, Polar brought the boat alongside a funny metal landing stage and Grizzly got off.  I thought he was going to get directions back to the Thames but he wasn't.  He had gone to ask a lock keeper if she would let us onto a different river altogether, the River Wey.  We had to go uphill, rather than downhill, in the locks on the Wey.  They were very scary locks, even though they were smaller than the Thames locks, because the water rushed in very fast at the front, and we had to use ropes at the front and back of the boat (which boat people call the bow and the stern, for some silly reason).

Once we were through the first two locks, which were close together, we found ourselves on a very pretty waterway.  There were lovely green trees and glades and lots of great big houses with nice gardens.  When we got to a town called Weybridge, there was a very strange lock which seemed to be hiding from us, but luckily another boat was travelling in the same direction and they helped Polar and Grizzly to find the way in.  After a busy afternoon, we moored at a proper landing stage between two boats.  Polar and Grizzly went ashore to get a cooked meal for themselves and I scurried about eating my usual snacks of grapes, small tomatoes and crunchy biscuits.  There weren't many left so when, the following morning, Polar and Grizzly went ashore carrying a big bag each, I thought they must be going shopping, but they weren't!  They were going to their land house - for a whole week!

At first, I thought it was fun having the boat to myself.  I read the boat maps to see where we were, I climbed on the settee and, when they didn't come back at night, I had lots of fun jumping up and down on their bed!  I ate the last crunchy biscuits and some jam, which was a funny meal as the biscuits are herby and salty and the jam is sweet, so they don't really go, but there were no grapes or tomatoes to have with them so I had to make do.  I needed to drink something too.  Usually, I could run a little fresh water out of the kitchen tap, but this time, nothing came out.  There was a little pool of water in the washing-up bowl, which tasted soapy.

'I'll look in the big, cold, white cupboard,' I said, remembering that there was usually orange juice and milk in there.  It was very hard work opening the door and, when I had, I was horrified - there was nothing in it at all and it wasn't even cold inside.

The brown food cupboard was full of tins, which I couldn't open, and dried food like rice and pasta which was too hard even for strong little bear teeth to chew and needed cooking.  The tea and coffee smelt nice but was no good to eat either.  There was a jar full of raisins, so I ate lots of those.  There was also a small glass bottle full of funny browny-orange water which made my eyes water when I smelt it and made my mouth all hot when I took a tiny sip, so I decided it was probably for cleaning things with, and left it alone.  Luckily, I found a plastic bottle of fizzy water and drank lots of that, although it made me burp a lot, which was funny.

After three days I had plenty of raisins left but had nearly finished the burping water.  I had stopped thinking burping was funny too, and was bored with being on my own, even if I could climb and jump and play.  I couldn't find a way out of the boat, because Polar and Grizzly had locked and bolted everything.  I started to worry that they might not come back and even that I might starve.

'What do wild bears do when they get short of food and water?' I thought.  Then I remembered that some of them ate lots and lots of food while they could, then went to sleep for months and months in a den.  So I ate all of the raisins and the last of the jam.  Then, feeling very fat and sleepy, I got my cushion and some towels from the bathroom, made myself a bear cave behind the settee and settled down to sleep.

Fortunately, I didn't have to sleep for months and months, but I did sleep for three whole days.  That isn't a very big sleep for a bear but it would be for a human.  What woke me up was a funny drumming noise, which I recognised as the sound that happened when Polar or Grizzly turned on the tap.  I was very, very thirsty, so I rushed out from my bear cave and ran into the kitchen (or what boat people call a galley, which is another one of their special names for ordinary things).  I had forgotten that Polar and Grizzly didn't know I was a real bear but luckily, one of them had put the kettle on and gone back to the stern to fetch something, so I could have a quick drink and scurry back to my old place on the settee without them seeing me. 

Imagine how pleased I was to see Polar and Grizzly carry in lots of bags of shopping, including my favourite crunchy crackers, tomatoes, bananas and biscuits.  I started to wonder if they knew I was a real bear when Polar sat me down next to a pot of marmalade and took my photograph but, as she didn't open it and turn it into a sandwich for me, perhaps she didn't.  Poor Grizzly was in trouble for 'forgetting' that they had run out of raisins, which they hadn't really, of course, and Polar was confused that she couldn't find the fresh towels she had left in the bathroom. 

Watching them eating their tea made me feel very hungry but, as soon as they had gone to bed, I had a good bear feast of fresh food, smuggled the towels out of my bear cave and back into the bathroom and had lots of fun climbing on the furniture and jumping on the settee, and I didn't go to sleep all night!